NFL - National Football League
Key pickup - Mike says the team did surprisingly little to get better. Nothing key. Lance states Coty Sensabaugh, Defensive Back is the key pickup.
Biggest weakness: Lance believes the defensive backfield. Mike made fun of Sensabaugh being a key pickup, then declared the Steelers have zero weaknesses. He suggested perhaps a new waterboy would be in order.
Biggest strength: Mike believes the passing game is key. Lance says Le'Veon Bell is the biggest strength and that he sets up the passing game.
Key pickup: Lance chose Danny Woodhead as a versatile back who can help out Terrance West. Mike chose Tony Jefferson, merely because he thinks the team overpaid for him. The safety position right now is appreciating in value.
Biggest strength: defensive line is the clear choice for Mike. But, he wonders why the offense is always so anemic. Lance says the defense as a whole is the biggest strength, and he had no answer why the offense is always so bad.
Biggest weakness: offense. Both fellas agree but Lance pinpoints the wide receivers as the root cause whereas Mike thinks the quarterback position is at fault.
Key pickup: Kevin Minter. Mike hated to see him leave the Arizona Cardinals and thinks he is going to peak with the Bengals. Lance selected Joe Mixon, thinking he is the real deal. He also thinks Giovanni Bernard is a stud.
Biggest weakness: coaching. The rubes agree.
Biggest strength: Lance picked the red-headed Andy Dalton, and thinks the o-line has held him back. Mike went with wide receiver, he loves John Ross and AJ Green.
Key pickup: Lance chose Myles Garrett, a monster defensive end. He says players can come from college and have the best chance to make a difference at the d-end position. Mike challenged him on this claim and Lance had nothing to back it up, he couldn't even name another d-end that had first year success coming right out of college.
Mike chose Kevin Zeitler. He believes the durable Zeitler will earn his big money.
Biggest strength: run blocking o-line is solid, according to Mike. Lance loves the entire ten pick draft class.
Biggest weakness: Mike says the quarterback position is a disaster and Osweiler is the worst highest paid backup QB ever. Lance said their entire team is a weakness, even though a part of their team was a 'biggest strength'. What a rube.
4. Cleveland Browns 4. Cleveland Browns
3. Cincinnati Bengals 3. Baltimore Ravens
2. Baltimore Ravens 2. Pittsburgh Steelers
1. Pittsburgh Steelers 1. Cincinnati Bengals
Key pickup: Lance loves this division. He thinks the biggest impact will come from Deshaun Watson. Mike thinks nobody was a kick pickup. Instead, they had a key subtraction by ditching Osweiler.
Biggest strength: Mike loves the defensive line and still can't figure out why Osweiler is so bad. Lance went with the overall defense as a strength and had no answer for Osweiler.
Biggest weakness: Quarterback. Both rubes agree, though Mike still can't figure out why the 8-foot Osweiler wasn't successful in Houston. Overall, though, Mike thinks the offense sucks and Watson will be starter by week three.
Key pickup: Lance picked Eric Decker because he put up decent numbers with the Jets. Mike likes Adoree Jackson, the draft pick from USC. He compared him to Patrick Peterson.
Biggest strength: Mike loves Mariota and thinks Adoree will play WR some and light it up. Lance says the Titans have the best RB duo in the NFL, so that's the biggest strength.
Biggest weakness: Lance dislikes the defensive backfield and the new players coming into the group. Mike agrees. Pass defense was bad last year, but a gazillion dollars was spent on upgrades in the offseason.
Key pickup: Mike went with the new defense they signed in free agency. Lance says 'nobody' was a key pickup.
Biggest weakness: Lance selected the defense as the big weakness. Mike pointed out that he's not considering the new additions. Mike selected the run game. It was pathetic last year and will be as bad this year. Frank Gore can't be relied on.
Biggest strength: Andrew Luck, both guys agree. Though the rumblings that Luck may sit this year is a major concern.
Key pickup: Lance picked Calais Campbell (formerly of the Cardinals). Mike went with AJ Bouye, cornerback because saying his name was fun and reminiscent of Flavor Flav.
Biggest strength: Mike selected the secondary and Lance picked the defense as a whole.
Biggest weakness: Lance dislikes Blake Bortles and thinks Leonard Fournette is a legit RB1. Mike dislikes the passing offense in general and says it's not entirely Bortles fault. Regardless, Mike will refer to Blake as Brutal Blake Bortles this year.
Predictions: the guys agree and this division sucks.
4. Jacksonville Jaguars
3. Indianapolis Colts (#4 if Luck is out for year)
2. Houston Texans
1. Tennessee Titans