NFL football is a behemoth.
Mike Paulus and Lance Nelson hosts.
Introduction: Lance issued an apology because Mike posted an article on Facebook that states the University of Arizona is the center of the football universe. Mike thought Lance was going to apologize for the 3-2 Minnesota Vikings Monday Night Football halftime score or his bad Yankees take. Instead he attacks something he doesn’t understand.
The announcement was made that the show now has listeners in France. The Rubes welcomed them with a made up French phrase.
The Rubes played a game called ‘10-second Take’ where they were each given an NFL game at random to review, until every matchup was reviewed. It was impossible for the Rubes to keep their takes to anything close to ten seconds.
After the 10-Second Take game, Mike reminded Lance about his Michael Floyd take in which Lance claimed Floyd would take the Minnesota offense to the next level. Well, Floyd didn’t take the offense to the next level. Lance predicted 5 catches, 87 yards and a TD. Instead, one catches.
As for Locks of the Week, Lance is 8-7 and Mike is 7-9. Though, again Lance tried to claim that one of his picks shouldn’t count because he was wrong.
Where Things Stand – A Rube take on current NFL standings. The Rubes agreed on quite a few. Big differences relate to the Minnesota Vikings, who Lance things are contenders and Mike thinks is a pretender. The also differ on New England and Jacksonville. Lance thinks Jacksonville is a contender to win the Super Bowl, and Mike pointed out that the Jaguars just won a game with Brutal Blake Bortles throwing for 95 yards.
Mike reminded Lance that last week he said Deshaun Watson would be ‘exposed’ against a good KC defense. LOL. The only thing Deshaun Watson was exposed as was a stud.
Scotty’s Terrible Takes: this was the first time in show history that a national sportscaster was given the dishonor of being Scotty’s Terrible Take of the week. Troy Aikman claiming that the Green Bay Packers aren’t put together to come back (ahem, Aaron Rodgers is still the quarterback!), and then Green Bay came back to win the game. Classic.
Scotty – 2
Duke from Brainerd – 2
Troy Aikman – 1
The Rubes discussed Chris Foerster and the parody they developed in connection with Foerster snorting a white powder on video.
NFL Week 6 preview:
Most Pivotal Matchup:
Lance – Green Bay at Minnesota. Of course, Rube Lance goes with his team. He is such a homer!
Mike – The Carolina/Philadelphia game is this week’s most pivotal game. They both come in at 4-1 and we will find out who is legit.
Mike – Broncos hosting the Giants. Mike coined the term ‘Play-Doh plane’ with regard to New York’s chances of beating the Broncos.
Lance – Atlanta hosting Miami. Mike again brought up that Lance didn’t think Miami losing Tannehill wasn’t significant.
Shot in the Dark:
Mike - Martellus Bennet will lead TE in fantasy points and, unrelatedly, the Dolphins go into Atlanta and beat down the Falcons.
Lance – Chicago will go into Baltimore and Mitchell Trubisky and team will run all over the Ravens. Mike doesn’t think this is a shot in the dark, because Chicago should go in there and beat them.
Locks of the Week:
Mike - love me some Houston, and I love me some Deshaun Watson. I have a man crush on Watson that just won’t quit. I said in the preseason preview that he’s bringing his special brand of football to the NFL and he has. He’s a good player and a good dude. Houston is favored by 9.5 over Cleveland at home and that’s just fine. Take Houston.
Lance - Detroit will shred the New Orleans Saints. The Lions are five point underdogs. Take Detroit and the points.
Mike - Arizona hosting Tampa Bay might be America’s game of the week. Peterson goes off for 110 yards and 2 touchdowns to lead Arizona to the win. Tampa is favored by 2.5. Take AZ and the points.
Lance – Tampa Bay (Lance is disgusted with them) and Arizona is getting 2.5 points. Arizona rolls over Tampa Bay and take the points.
Mike - A crappy Pitt team on the road at KC and the Chiefs are only favored by 4 points. Nonsense. The Chiefs will destroy the Steelers in what might be Big Ben’s last NFL game. Bring on Josh Dobbs, who should bypass Landry Jones. Take the Chiefs to cover.
Lance – LA Rams at Jacksonville. The Jaguars will cover the 2.5 points and look for Jacksonville to win by 7 points.