Top 3 storylines:
Listeners in France continue to grow, and a warm welcome was given to them once again.
Scott’s Terrible Take this week returns to Scott himself, with a horrible take about Teddy Bridgewater. Since the Minnesota Vikings cleared Teddy Bridgewater to play, Scott thinks even if Sam Bradford is healthy the Vikings should put Sam on Injured Reserve to pave the way for Teddy.
Rube Mike introduced the most difficult segment to date:
Where I was wrong and you were right -
Cordarelle Patterson is at it again, he had 1 catch for 5 yards and 3 rushes for 55 yards and another touchdown.
Weekly Deshaun Watson update: 225 yards, 3 tds 1 int and 23 yards rushing. Top QB in the game.
We agreed to review college football, but Lance came at the topic tearing apart the college football playoff system and saying it should be 12 teams, not four. Lance wants to review this nearer the playoff season.
Mike reviewed the performance of each Power 5 conference so far.
Big Ten – Some people in Minnesota were heard on the radio saying the Gophers could play for the title against the likes of Ohio State. Instead, PJ Fleck’s ‘row the boat’ sideshow looks to be more flash than substance. Look for a championship game between Wisconsin and Penn State, one of which will be held responsible for breaking Ohio State’s stranglehold on success.
Lance agrees with Mike that the Penn State resurgence is finally here.
SEC – Alabama. Who else. Yawn. Bama against Georgia in the conference title game, Bama can lose and still make the playoffs. So dumb.
Lance agrees with Mike that Alabama wins and makes the playoffs.
ACC – Miami. They are back! Have a great remaining schedule (Syracuse, at UNC, Virginia Tech, ND and Virginia at home, then at Pittsburgh. ND and Virginia will be toughest but have them at home. This team could run the table to the ACC championship game against Clemson)
Lance disagrees and thinks Clemson got a wake-up call with its loss to Syracuse and will go undefeated the rest of the way and win it all this season.
Big Twelve – the only P5 conference to not have a title game. Come on, get with the times. They are so pretentious. TCU seems to be the best of a middling lot of teams. The winner of this league runs the risk of being squeezed out of the playoffs.
Lance disagrees and thinks Oklahoma State is the best team in the conference.
Pac12 – USC and Washington in the title game. I’ll see USC in person this weekend and will better be able to gauge the finer points, but generally Washington, despite an upset this weekend, has one of the top defenses in the country and that will propel them to the playoffs.
Lance thinks USC will make the playoffs.
Extra Point: Not much was expected of the Arizona Wildcats this season, but there is a dark horse Heisman candidate in Tucson: Khalil Tate - Tate, 20 pounds lighter than a season ago, ran for 327 yards against Colorado, an FBS record for a quarterback, then rushed for 230 yards against UCLA. All while completing 21 of his 26 pass attempts for 302 yards and two touchdowns.
Guaranteed Win – last week we both whiffed on this, which is hilarious. So, we thought we’d try it again.
Mike - Baltimore at Minnesota: Minnesota at home against one of the weakest teams in the league. Vikings are in the midst of the easiest schedule in modern NFL history. Only 2 road games in the first 9 games of the season is a joke.
Lance – New Orleans will light up Green Bay and propel the Saints on the road.
Top Fantasy Performer:
Mike - Derek Carr, Top QB
Lance – Drew Brees, Top QB
Shot in the Dark:
Mike - San Francisco (6 point underdogs) gets its first win over a Dallas team playing on the road.
Lance – Lance picked the Giants as 8 point underdogs going into Seattle. Mike pointed out that the line is only five points. Mike then pointed out that the game isn’t in Seattle, but in New York. Lance picked New York anyway. Geez, this guy.
Locks of the week:
Mike went 2-1 last weekend and Lance went 1-2. The Rubes are tied again!
No Houston this week, as it’s their bye week. What is Mike going to do?
Nice Thursday night matchup again.
Lance – Vegas loves the road favorites, and there are eight of them this week. Denver Broncos against the Los Angeles Chargers (-1.5), Lance doesn’t see how the Broncos lose this game. They win straight up.
Mike - The danger is to assume that Pittsburgh has it all figured out after surprising Kansas City on the road last weekend. I don’t buy it. Cincinnati is no good, but they have more to lose by losing. The Steelers are favored by 5.5 points. Take the Bengals and the points.
Lance – New Orleans 5.5 point favorite going into Green Bay. Take the Saints and give up the points. Lance says Green Bay’s season is over.
Mike - Seattle (-5.5) at New York Giants is a mirage. It might have the lowest national prestige of all games this week. But, it will end up being a better matchup than people expect. Look for Seattle to struggle offensively, and I don’t like the cross-country trip east. Take the Giants and the points. The spread is too big to go Seattle here.
Lance – Arizona at LA Rams. Rams are favored by 3.5 but Lance doesn’t buy into them yet. Arizona will win this game with the points. Lance thinks the Cardinals are rejuvenated.
Mike - Atlanta at New England (-3.5). Atlanta is like the disappearing city of Atlantis. The season looks sunk, and people will refer to them in a metaphorical manner to draw parallels to unrecognized potential. Matt Ryan, Lance’s MVP and National Audience Draw, looks pedestrian and unable to lead his team to victory over bad teams. New England comes out and demolishes Atlanta at home. Take the Patriots and give up the 3.5 points.
here to edit.
NFL football is a behemoth.
Mike Paulus and Lance Nelson hosts.
Introduction: Lance issued an apology because Mike posted an article on Facebook that states the University of Arizona is the center of the football universe. Mike thought Lance was going to apologize for the 3-2 Minnesota Vikings Monday Night Football halftime score or his bad Yankees take. Instead he attacks something he doesn’t understand.
The announcement was made that the show now has listeners in France. The Rubes welcomed them with a made up French phrase.
The Rubes played a game called ‘10-second Take’ where they were each given an NFL game at random to review, until every matchup was reviewed. It was impossible for the Rubes to keep their takes to anything close to ten seconds.
After the 10-Second Take game, Mike reminded Lance about his Michael Floyd take in which Lance claimed Floyd would take the Minnesota offense to the next level. Well, Floyd didn’t take the offense to the next level. Lance predicted 5 catches, 87 yards and a TD. Instead, one catches.
As for Locks of the Week, Lance is 8-7 and Mike is 7-9. Though, again Lance tried to claim that one of his picks shouldn’t count because he was wrong.
Where Things Stand – A Rube take on current NFL standings. The Rubes agreed on quite a few. Big differences relate to the Minnesota Vikings, who Lance things are contenders and Mike thinks is a pretender. The also differ on New England and Jacksonville. Lance thinks Jacksonville is a contender to win the Super Bowl, and Mike pointed out that the Jaguars just won a game with Brutal Blake Bortles throwing for 95 yards.
Mike reminded Lance that last week he said Deshaun Watson would be ‘exposed’ against a good KC defense. LOL. The only thing Deshaun Watson was exposed as was a stud.
Scotty’s Terrible Takes: this was the first time in show history that a national sportscaster was given the dishonor of being Scotty’s Terrible Take of the week. Troy Aikman claiming that the Green Bay Packers aren’t put together to come back (ahem, Aaron Rodgers is still the quarterback!), and then Green Bay came back to win the game. Classic.
Scotty – 2
Duke from Brainerd – 2
Troy Aikman – 1
The Rubes discussed Chris Foerster and the parody they developed in connection with Foerster snorting a white powder on video.
NFL Week 6 preview:
Most Pivotal Matchup:
Lance – Green Bay at Minnesota. Of course, Rube Lance goes with his team. He is such a homer!
Mike – The Carolina/Philadelphia game is this week’s most pivotal game. They both come in at 4-1 and we will find out who is legit.
Mike – Broncos hosting the Giants. Mike coined the term ‘Play-Doh plane’ with regard to New York’s chances of beating the Broncos.
Lance – Atlanta hosting Miami. Mike again brought up that Lance didn’t think Miami losing Tannehill wasn’t significant.
Shot in the Dark:
Mike - Martellus Bennet will lead TE in fantasy points and, unrelatedly, the Dolphins go into Atlanta and beat down the Falcons.
Lance – Chicago will go into Baltimore and Mitchell Trubisky and team will run all over the Ravens. Mike doesn’t think this is a shot in the dark, because Chicago should go in there and beat them.
Locks of the Week:
Mike - love me some Houston, and I love me some Deshaun Watson. I have a man crush on Watson that just won’t quit. I said in the preseason preview that he’s bringing his special brand of football to the NFL and he has. He’s a good player and a good dude. Houston is favored by 9.5 over Cleveland at home and that’s just fine. Take Houston.
Lance - Detroit will shred the New Orleans Saints. The Lions are five point underdogs. Take Detroit and the points.
Mike - Arizona hosting Tampa Bay might be America’s game of the week. Peterson goes off for 110 yards and 2 touchdowns to lead Arizona to the win. Tampa is favored by 2.5. Take AZ and the points.
Lance – Tampa Bay (Lance is disgusted with them) and Arizona is getting 2.5 points. Arizona rolls over Tampa Bay and take the points.
Mike - A crappy Pitt team on the road at KC and the Chiefs are only favored by 4 points. Nonsense. The Chiefs will destroy the Steelers in what might be Big Ben’s last NFL game. Bring on Josh Dobbs, who should bypass Landry Jones. Take the Chiefs to cover.
Lance – LA Rams at Jacksonville. The Jaguars will cover the 2.5 points and look for Jacksonville to win by 7 points.
Mike Paulus and Lance Nelson, hosts. Scott Kimman makes his first appearance.
The show hits the road and records from a basement game watch party, although it’s a baseball game. The good news is it’s Scott’s house and he’s going to read Scotty’s Terrible Take.
The question of which house would the sorting hat select Alex Smith for will remain unanswered.
Lance declares three (3) teams from the NFC North will make the playoffs!
Mike - More craziness in Vegas, oddsmakers at the Westgate Superbook have given the top odds at winning the Super Bowl to the Steelers. Pittsburgh can’t be expected to play well in the Super Bowl because Pittsburgh isn’t hosting the Super Bowl. Know what I’m saying?
Scott’s Terrible Takes:
Duke’s Brady percentage: 46.9% of NFL fans are female who are only watching the games because of Tom Brady’s butt.
Lance predicted Michael Floyd would perform well this weekend against the Chicago Bears, and put up 5 catches, 87 yards and a touchdown.
Two biggest surprises:
Lance – the Rams beating the Cowboys in Dallas. Mike thinks they are a year away from making some serious noise.
Mike - How bad Joe Flacco is: 30th in total QBR
Lance – the Jets (wow, this guy loves them).
Mike - The Chargers are winless. Mike contends if they were still in San Diego they’d be 2-2
Best week 5 matchup:
Mike - Green Bay at Dallas will get the most numbers, but Mike thinks the best matchup is Kansas City at Houston.
Lance – agrees with Mike.
The Rubes are tied with locks of the week at 6-6 through the first quarter of the season.
Shot in the Dark:
Mike – Mitchell Trubisky leads a bad Chicago team over the reeling Vikings. Right now, MN is favored by 3, but Trubisky will lead a potent rushing attack with a mobile pocket presence to score enough points.
Lance – New England going into Tampa Bay. The Tampa offense will rip New England to shreds (update: Tampa Bay scored 14 points at home against the Patriots, and lost).
Locks of the Week:
Mike - Mike usually dips into the Thursday night game, but is avoiding at all costs this week. Tampa is an unknown/Jekyll/Hyde type team and the Patriots couldn’t so much as stifle a cough. Instead, he’s looking at this battle of losers: Giants hosting the Chargers. The Giants are favored by 3.5. Take the home team to cover. San Diego has mailed it in. Uninspired football.
Lance – take Tampa and the 5.5 points over New England.
Mike - Arizona is not a good team, and on the road they are even worse. Considering they have to travel all the way to Philadelphia, things aren’t looking good. The Eagles have a solid offensive line that will neutralize AZ defensive pressure. Philly is favored by 6.5 over my hometown squad. Take the home team to cover.
Lance – Kansas City going into Houston and giving 1.5 points to the Texans. Says Deshaun Watson will be ‘exposed’.
Mike - rolling with Houston until he gets proven wrong. They are 1 point underdogs at home against the Chiefs. Take Houston and the point.
Lance – Chicago hosting Minnesota, who will run over the Bears. Trubisky will be spinning like a top. Vikings defense will score and this will be a double digit victory. Lance takes Minnesota and gives Chicago the 3 points.
Lance shared a story about his grandfather in World War II.
Both Rubes agree that the player protest is fine, but it is time to move on to action. Athletes are better off forming an athlete committee and taking political action and stop turning off the fan base with continued protests that aren't advancing change. Get going on legitimate action.
Scotty Terrible Takes - this week we had another rube, our friend Duke who had a take about the NFL being in a point of impending transition and that is the root cause for the decrease in viewership. Mike agreed with Duke and was disappointed that Lance selected this take to mock. The rubes argued emotionally. Listen to the episode. It's hilarious.
Next, the rubes discussed the NCAA Basketball scandal, which has affected Mike's beloved Arizona Wildcats basketball team. Fubar.
Rube Sports Radio Episode #7
INTRO: Mike Paulus and Lance Nelson
Where I was right/where you were wrong:
Cordarrelle Patterson: I said he’s make an impact and he has. 1 reception against the Jets, 3 rushes for 57 yards and a touchdown.
I made a bold announcement about Alex Smith throwing for 181 and a touchdown. He put up 250 and a TD. Back to his plain vanilla self. Lance said he’d throw for 350+ and multiple touchdowns.
Lance declared Cam would throw a pick 6 against Buffalo. He didn’t even throw an interception.
Locks of the week from last week:
Mike went 2-1 again, whereas Lance went 1-2. Mike now leads the challenge 4-2 to 3-3.
Scott’s Terrible Take: Lance was away on assignment, so he missed the conversation with our friend Scott when he declared the NFL would be better off making the forward pass illegal. Can you imagine? This guy probably wants to go back to leather helmets and such.
Pittsburgh Trip - Lance told a few stories from going to Pittsburgh for the Vikings game. He interacted with and interviewed some real rubes. Check the Rube Sports Radio Facebook feed for the video.
Lance took a cheap flight to Pittsburgh from MSP via St. Louis. Wow. He then threatened to give an old lady a knuckle sandwich.
Best matchup: Lance - he selected the Falcons v Lions, as did Mike. Both Rubes agreed that there aren’t a lot of must see games this weekend, but it’s a weekend where we can drive a stake through some team’s chances at playoffs.
Must win: Mike - there are lots, but the most critical is Cincinnati Bengals. If they go 0-3 in a division where the top two teams are undefeated, their season is essentially over. And you can wave goodbye to Marvin Lewis. This is a team that has scored 9 points total in two games. Will they beat Green Bay? Highly unlikely. Lance's must win is the New York Giants. They had high hopes, but have been underperforming. The Giants are going into Philadelphia and can't afford to take another loss. Lance picked the Giants to win the division, so he really wants the to win the game.
Shot in the dark: Lance's shot in the dark is the first London game of the year (neither Rube cares for these silly London games, though Mike feels the teams just need to have more rest and would like to see the games continue). Lance picked Jacksonville to beat Baltimore. Mike's shot in the dark is Houston straight up beats New England, which has historically struggled again mobile quarterbacks. Brady is down another weapon with Gronk’s groin.
Locks of the week:
Mike went 2-1 again, whereas Lance went 1-2. Mike now leads the challenge 4-2 to 3-3. Mike reminded him of the standings, and Lance tried to back out of having picked the Vikings to beat Pittsburgh. Mike wouldn't let him.
Lance - New York Jets hosting Miami (-6.5). Lance thinks Cutler is going to tear up the Jets defense. Take Miami and the points.
Mike - Rams (-2.5) at 49ers. Again, we look at a Thursday night matchup. The strengths of the winning team will be defense and running game. LA is better at both, and 2.5 points is a gift. Take the Rams to cover.
Lance - Lance's pick matched Mike's. See below.
Mike - New Orleans at Carolina (-5.5). Sure, Carolina doesn’t put up many points offensively, but they haven’t played the Saints yet. Carolina isn’t losing this at home. Start Cam in your fantasy league and watch the Panthers roll by double digits.
Lance - goes with another road favorite. Los Angeles Chargers and the Kansas City Chiefs team coming to visit. Chiefs get 3 points. Lance thinks it will be a 7-10 point victory in San Diego.
Mike - Atlanta (-3) at Detroit: Atlanta hasn’t played a great game yet, and they struggled at Chicago in Week 1. Detroit is in the best of the NFC North. Take Detroit and the points, and start believing in the Lions (until Stafford gets hurt).