NFL is king.
Lance opened the show by disclosing he’s in 19 fantasy football leagues and that he did okay in a few of them.
The Rubes talked about a new bit they have ‘Where I was right, where you were wrong’. Each talks about where they were right and the other was wrong.
Mike pointed out that he was right about Tom Savage, the already benched Houston QB. And he was right that Watson was named starter. Where Lance was wrong: he said the Chicago Bears would be brutal offensively, but they were just fine against Atlanta.
Lance says Mike claimed Cordarrelle Patterson would be an impact player and he produced nothing in Week 1. Mike said to give him some more time.
Mike says he was right about the Arizona Cardinals being a travesty. Lance was wrong when he stated Spencer Ware was the NFL’s most significant loss to injury, yet the Chiefs didn’t miss a beat with their rookie stepping up.
Mike bold a bold announcement that Alex Smith would be back to normal and throw for 181 yards, 1 touchdown and 1 interception against the Eagles.
Lance says Mike touted how great offenses were in NFC West and how bad they were in NFC North. Lance pointed out that the NFC North is 3-1 and the West is 1-3, and the North is 2-0 against the West. Mike pointed out that the explanation for it is the difference between home games and road games. The opening weekend was a home weekend for the NFC North and a road weekend for NFC West.
Mike was right when he picked Jacksonville over Houston in week one. Lance was wrong when he picked Cincinnati to pick Baltimore. This take was so bad, the Bengals didn’t even score a point. What a whiff.
Lance says to was 2-0 on his other picks, though both Rubes were 2-1 overall for week one.
Locks of the week running tally:
Mike 2-1 Lance 2-1
Scotty’s Terrible Takes returned. This week, Scott claimed that in the NFL interceptions don’t matter. Enough said.
QB Jones was hired as the Rube Sports Radio roving reporter. He heard his first report from the rube parking lot of the New England Patriots versus Kansas City Chiefs game.
Previewing NFL Week 2:
Best matchup: Lance picked the Minnesota Vikings at Pittsburgh Steelers game, Minnesota looked like world beaters, he said.
Mike’s best matchup: most entertaining game will be the Eagles at Chiefs.
Team that must get a win: Lance selected the Tennessee Titans. Mike selected the Arizona Cardinals at Indianapolis Colts. Lance said he wasn’t worried about Arizona losing that game.
Shot in the dark is a bolder prediction: Mike said he thinks of the five worst teams in the league, two of them will win in Week Two (Colts, 49ers, Browns, Bears, Jets). All play on the road except the Colts.
Lance’s shot in the dark is that the Buffalo Bills will win at the Carolina Panthers. He thinks Cam Newton hasn’t gotten it together and that Buffalo looks good. Declares Cam will throw a pick six this week.
Locks of the week:
Mike states he will beat Lance on the season long Locks of the Week challenge.
Mike’s first lock of the week is Houston at Cincinnati. Defenses dominate Thursdays and Houston has the better one. Take Houston and the 5.5 points.
Lance: New York Jets at Oakland (14 points). The Jets won’t score more than 10 points, Oakland will score more than 40. Oakland will roll, Carr will have 400 yards passing and Lynch will rush for at least 150 yards.
Lance: Arizona Cardinals (-7.5) at Indianapolis Colts. The Colts are terrible, he says. Arizona wins by two touchdowns. Mike said it’s going to be a much closer game.
Mike: Chicago at Tampa Bay. Chicago is better than advertised and Tampa hasn’t played a game yet. Take Chicago and the 7 points. Lance also thinks the game is a trap game.
Mike: Detroit Lions at New York Giants (-4). Detroit is healthy right now and playing good football. Giants can’t score.
Lance: Minnesota Vikings at Pittsburgh Steelers (-6.5). Stated he would put his house on this game. It’s his lock of the week. ‘No chance they lose by 6.5 points’. Mike declared the Vikings will lose straight up by more than 6 points and that Bradford would be exposed.
Howard University lost. The dream season is over.
Pac12 is 2-1 against Big Ten this season, so far.
Listener question of the week: are the Rubes worried about the poor quarterback play in week one. Lance isn’t worried, but Mike is. To Mike it feels a bit like a changing of the guard, as the top quarterbacks are suddenly looking old.
NFL Divisional previews conclude with the AFC West and AFC East previews.
New England Patriots:
Key pickup: Mike thinks some unknown no-name guy (Tony Washington) will end up 4th in the league in receiving, because that's what Bill Belicheck does. Lance went with Stephon Gilmore, Cornerback.
Biggest strength: Lance selected quarterback. Mike did not pick Brady, instead he went with the University of Arizona Wildcat product, Gronk.
Biggest weakness: Forget about it. NFL's best team. No weaknesses. Lance declared a chink in the armor, their pass defense.
Key pickup: Lance believes their new head coach, Sean McDermott, is the top pick. Getting rid of Rex Ryan was great. Steven Hauschka is Mike's selection, just from a pure volume kicking standpoint.
Biggest strength: LeSean McCoy is a special talent, but Mike thinks he's wasted on this squad. Lance agrees and selects the running game in general, as he includes Tyrod as a running threat.
Biggest weakness: Lance thinks the rush defense is terrible. Mike wonders why Rex Ryan was considered a defensive master but the defense could be so bad. 4.6 yards per carry is a travesty.
Key pickup: Lawrence Timmons from Pittsburgh was who Lance picked. Mike thinks Anthony Fasano is a possibility.
Biggest strength: Mike likes the offensive efficiency but believes Jay Ajayi will be a flash in the pan. Lance believes Jay Ajayi is the strength.
Biggest weakness: Lance declares all run defenses in the division suck, even though New England is in the division. Rube. Mike agrees with Miami's run defense being bad.
New York Jets:
Key pickup: Mike states Kelvin Beachum was the biggest acquisition, left tackle from what one of the worst offensive lines last season (Jacksonville Jaguars). That's a bad sign when this is the biggest pickup. Josh McCown was Lance's pick, because he "probably won't embarrass himself".
Biggest strength: Mike thinks Chandler Cantanzaro will be the only scoring threat. Lance likes their running back tandem of Matt Forte and Bilal Powell.
Biggest weakness: It was a tough choice, but the defense is miserable. Both rubes agree.
AFC East predictions:
1. New England Patriots 1. New England Patriots
2. Miami Dolphins 2. Buffalo Bills
3. Buffalo Bills 3. Miami Dolphins
4. New York Jets 4. New York Jets
AFC West preview:
Los Angeles Chargers:
Key pickup: Lance loves the SEC product (though he didn't know where he played college ball), Mike Williams. Russell Okung was key to Mike, to give better protection to Philip Rivers.
Biggest strength: Mike thinks the defense is good enough. Lance thinks Philip Rivers is the biggest strength, if he has the time to throw.
Biggest weakness: Lance hates their offense line and thinks they will have two rookies starting on the offensive line. Mike agrees with the offensive line, that's why he likes the Okung pick up. However, the run game is terrible and he hates Melvin Gordon as the starting running back.
Key pickup: Lance picked Jamaal Charles, running back from Kansas City. He loves teaming him with C.J. Anderson. Mike thinks this is a terrible take. "He's going to lose an ACL sometime in the first half of the season". Mike selected Ron Leary on the offensive line. Paxton Lynch will be the starter by midseason at quarterback.
Biggest strength: Mike loves the pass defense and thinks they will be the top passing defense in the NFL this season. Lance loves likes the wide receivers, but "they don't have anybody who can throw him the ball."
Biggest weakness: Lance dislikes the quarterback position tremendously. Mike pointed out that Wide Receiver is the biggest strength but that nobody can throw the ball to them, how can the receivers be the biggest strength. A poor take by Lance and a complete lack of logic. Mike agrees that quarterback is the concern.
Key pickup: Cordarrelle Patterson was Mike's tongue in cheek selection. He was a bust offensively in Minnesota. But, he does feel like he will produce in Oakland whereas he couldn't with the Vikings. Lance selected Marshawn Lynch "he's going to have a monster year." Compared to expectation, Mike believes Patterson will perform better than Lynch.
Biggest strength: Lance picked the entire offense. Weak. Mike was more specific and picked the passing game, and that Oakland has the top young quarterback in the league. "He's Tom Brady West."
Biggest weakness: The pass defense is the weakness according to Mike, but it's not bad and he's not concerned. Lance "dug deeper" and went with their discipline. Mike pointed out that that is part of the Raiders schtick and that Lance doesn't understand branding.
Kansas City Chiefs:
Key pickup: Mike: "the free agency list is laughable." They did nothing in free agency. So, he went with Patrick Mahomes, Quarterback. Lance loves the running back, Kareem Hunt, looks for him to have a solid rookie year.
Biggest strength: Mike loves the defense. Lance thinks their offensive consistency is the strength. Mike believes the blandness of the offense is why free agents don't want to play there. Lance says the Chiefs need their linebackers to step up.
Biggest weakness: Lance dislikes the rush defense. Mike says, "Alex Smith is not a threat." Offense sucks due to the limitations, Andy Reid isn't a gambler. Chief's season will fall flat due to Alex Smith.
1. Oakland Raiders. 1. Oakland Raiders
2. Kansas City Chiefs 2. Kansas City Chiefs
3. Los Angeles Chargers 3. Denver Broncos
4. Denver Bronos. 4. Los Angeles Chargers
Lance declared: "neither the Chargers or the Broncos are making the playoffs."
The Rubes introduce themselves and instantly become national darlings. They have both agreed to share their sports knowledge with the world as a gift to those less sports-knowledge fortunate.
The Ezekiel Elliott scenario was broken down. Lance things Goodell and the NFL jumped the gun and suspended Ezekiel on a whim. Mike believes Goodell is in his right as the leader to punish players and he also thinks Goodell is trying to send a message to Ezekiel to straighten him out. Turns out, Mike is right on this one as the suspension was upheld.
A segment called Scotty's Terrible Takes was introduced. Our friend Scotty represents all the bad sports takes out in the world. You have a friend who is a rube like Scott. We know you do. Share your take with us and we will share it with the world. Drop it in the comments, hit us up on Facebook or Twitter.
The Rubes reviewed the weekend in college football. In short, Alabama is good (again), the Howard University upset of UNLV is a sign of things to come, and Lance doesn't really watch college football.
Next up, the fellas discussed the preseason and listed their three most significant injuries. Mike thought the most significant injury was Tannehill, but Lance thought the left tackle from Seattle was George Fant.
To wrap the show, the fellas each picked 3 locks for weekend NFL games:
Kansas City at New England Patriots: Lance agrees with Mike.
Baltimore Ravens at Cincinnati Bengals: Cincinnati to win and cover.
LA Rams to cover 3.5 points at home against Indianapolis Colts. Even though Lance makes fun of Mike's assertion that the Rams will finish 2nd in the NFC West division! What a classic rube.
Kansas City at New England: Mike thinks the spread is too much. He likes New England to win but not cover.
Jacksonville at Houston : Houston is favored by 5.5, Mike takes Jacksonville and the points.
Oakland at Tennessee Titans: Mike loves Oakland, thinks they are one of the top teams in the NFL. Tennessee is favored by 2 points. With the possible storm impact and minimizing the Oakland passing game, Mike is taking the Titans to cover.